Variant:The rose may kiss the butterfly, The wine may kiss the crystal glass,A girl may kiss her man goodbye, But you, my friends, may kiss my ass. Scott Fitzgerald. 53.) ", "Here's to me, and here's to you,And here's to love and laughterI'll be true as long as you,And not one moment after. In Days of old when knights were boldAnd toilets weren't inventedMen dropped their load upon the roadAnd walked away contented. May we live to learn well And learn to live well . Little girlguard that sacred spot From this big Bull's unerring shot,For at least again he'll come some day, And in about nine month, And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows youre dead.. toasting Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. Compare this with Here's to it and to it again;If you don't do it when you're to it,You may not get to it to do it again. ", To which Paddy replies: "Oh Jaysus, we're both over the feckin' moon!". Cheers may be appropriate 364 days a year, but traditional Irish drinking toasts are a must on St. Patricks Day! #19. May the roof above us never fall in, And those gathered beneath it never fall out.. Paddy's walking home from the pub when he finds a woman tied to the railway track. One night in a moment of sexual madnessIt tried to France Jokes and Funny Quotes About France. 7.) If you ever get to itand can't do itlead me to itand I'll do it! If you steal, may you steal a womans heart. In days of old when knights were boldAnd penicillin wasn't invented,Venereal drips ran down from their hipsAnd their toes were all cemented. A travel, beer, and DIY writer, Andy has spent the last few years rediscovering the UK and Ireland, and the unique culture that he came to miss while on the road. [The Polytechnic, Volumes 17-18 [1901-1902] pg 198], Let's drink to kissing --Kiss beneath the garden gate,Kiss beneath the rose.The proper place to kiss a girl,Is between the head and toes. Hence the evidence is very strong That the man in Blue committed the wrong. Personalized Gender Reveal Scratch-Off Cards. 6. all the favors you are owed. . 1) He lived at home until he was 30. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says: "Yeah," says Paddy. Bawdy ballads & Dirty Ditties of the Wartime R.A.F. Here's a toast to "things in space. I can only find the definition: "Love is a thousand miles long A cold beer and another one., May the winds of fortune sail you. 40 of the Best Drinking . Here's to the bridewho's still a virgin.Her hormonesare really surgin'. Tolkien, 81.) The Irish Post is the biggest selling national newspaper to the Irish in Britain. This is not listed as a toast but is found installments. lists this as a toast. ]Variant: Here's up to it, here's down to it,Damned anybody can't do it,Ought to back up to it, step aside and let me do it, 'cause I'm used to it,Birds do it on the fly, dogs do it 'til they die,Here's to it, let's do it, let's watch the fur fly . They refuse to be English. May your heart be light and happy, May your smile be big and wide, And may your pockets always have. ", "Drink is the curse of the land. Learned from an Irishman born Here is to love that never grows old, and if it does, lets hope by that time were too old to leave each other and start new marriages., #17. The doctor says: "Try these and come back next week. Theres endless Irish jokes. 8.) But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up.. He Heres to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. Wed recommend that you pause after the first line and then continue on as itll flow better that way. The first draught a man drinks is for thirst,The second for nourishment,The third for pleasureand the fourth for madness. Its length makes it easy to remember and recite, too! Yes, youll hear it in some places, but its not used far more often than it is. The deed is rash, and I would rue it,I'd scorn the act, and well you know it, But - Well -- I'll lay still, and let YOU do it. Pain makes you stronger.Tears make you braver.Heartbreak makes you wiser.And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. 42.) & others. The best wedding toasts for raising a glass to the new couple. ", "No," Paddy says. Irish Drinking Toasts that we all love "May we get what we want, May we get what we need, But may we never get what we deserve" "Here's to the wine we love to drink, and the food we like to eat. She is a keen writer of satirical articles, as well as The best things to do and The best dishes to try around the globe. If the ocean was vodka 1.) "I haven't found her head yet! The Irish have a very unique sense of humour, and they love to share it with the . document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Here are some clever, thoughtful, and humorous anniversary toasts to help you achieve better intimacy with your significant other on your anniversary. ], Another concerned a murderer who was released from In the days of old when knights were boldAnd women weren't particularThey lined them up against the wallAnd fucked them perpendicular. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. If you get to itAnd can't do it,Call on me,I'm used to it. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts. Shelley Grieshop is a former newspaper journalist who earned more than a dozen Associated Press awards for her in-depth research and writing skills. [From: lindo(at) usa.pipeline.com(Linda OBrien) Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ]. They often rhyme and have a funny or serious side to them, but we certainly love a good laugh, so we are taking a look at some funny Irish drinking toasts that are always guaranteed a laugh from. Here's to you, and here's to me,Here's to the girl with the dimpled knee.Here's to the boy who fastened her garter;It wasn't much -- but a damned good starter! ", "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. Heres to the glass we love so to sip,It dries many a pensive tear;Tis not so sweet as a womans lipBut a damned sight more sincere. He who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow,Lives as he ought to,And leaves an honest fellow. 11.) Heres to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you dont do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again! 48.) [Various sources: 1960 Koken, 1968 More Rugby Songs preserves the Ireland, When God measures you, may he put the tape around your big and generous heart and not around your small and foolish head. [Contributed by James P. Leary. "What's the matter?" Times are hard,And wages are small,So drink more beer,And fuck them all. " Take 10 seconds to read the below points, first: This may sound strange. ], A man may kiss his wife goodbye,The rose may kiss the butterfly,The wine may kiss the frosted glass,And you, my friends, may kiss my ass. One of her life goals is to teach people when to use hyphens and apostrophes. Because apples were meant to be eaten, And moments were meant for delight,And that's just what we'll tell our conscience Dearif it bothers usAFTER TONIGHT You could easily use this as a toast around a table with friends or at a wedding or more formal occasion. discussion board.] A pretty girl and an honest one. 335th FS Chiefs Songbook. and I'm not a duck May the wind at your back always be your own. From a dated This is your Irish blog post. Heres to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. Anecdota Americana 15. Heres to those who wish us well,All the rest can go to h. Compare this with the If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. Here's to an hour of sweet repose,Tummy to tummy and toes to toes,Then after an hour of such delight,It's fanny to fanny for the rest of the night. Whether youre heading to a house party or a crowded bar, impress your friends by memorizing at least one of these great Irish drinking quotes: Im going to share one more Irish phrase with you because its my favorite. You might like Old Fashioned Quotes, Captions & Jokes. ], A WELCOMING TOASTTOASTMASTER: "Let's say hello to __________" Toasts like this one tend to be used to mark the departure of someone, whether it be to a far off land or somewhere else. there will be Hell to But since the ocean isn't vodka on 7 August 2003]. says Seamus. May God bless old Ireland, that's this . etc. Oldest toast example: The rhyming scheme to this one also flows nicely, making it a toast thats both pleasant to say and enjoyable to listen to. Heres champagne for our real friends. #13. Heres to a long life and a merry one. 60.) Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. Considering how often the Irish drink, whether it's to celebrate or drown their sorrows, there is, of course, an endless amount of drinking toasts that exist. Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small town bar. Learn how your comment data is processed. May you have the hindsight to know where youve been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far.. Some of the best Irish drinking toasts are short and sweet and pack fine aul a punch. Check out these fun and interesting beer quotes. This one isnt going to get you a load of laugh-out-louds, but itll raise a smile on the faces of those in attendance. anecdote. I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses., #14. If youre looking for a true pub experience, start with the Irish drinking quotes below. Half an hour before the devil knows you're dead." Variant:Here's to a love that's a thousand miles long but comes in six inch Aren't you glad your not a birthday! Be good.If you can't be good, be careful;And if you can't be careful,Name it after me. 22.) 43.) Read more 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped. Heres to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.F. discussion board. Youre on the funny Toasts for Drinking page. ", "May your glass be ever full,May the roof over your head be always strong,And may you be in heavenHalf an hour before the devil knows you're dead.". ]Variant:THE JOLLY OLD GAME OF TOES. All rights reserved. #1. Youre a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor. May the roof above us never fall in,And may we friends gathered belowNever fall out. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. But never forget to remember, The things that made you glad.. I drink to your health when Im with you, I drink to your health when Im alone, I drink to your health so often, Im starting to worry about my own!. But I'll tell you what I will do,I'll lie still while you do it. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. "Be good. Today was homecoming at Church, which is why I'm actually wearing makeup! This is one of my favourite Irish drinking toasts as it combines light, inoffensive humour with a good rhyming pattern. Variant:Here's to it and for it and to it again,for if you don't do itwhen you first come to ityou may not come to it to do it again. preserves the "Here's to the game called twenty toes" variant, website admits to deriving many of May the face of every good newsAnd the back of every bad newsBe towards us. . Easy to memorise, its arguably nottoosuitable for a wedding and would likely work better when wishing toasting someone embarking on a new journey. This one sounds obvious, but make sure to know your audience. ]Compare the above with the bawdy poem below: THEY ALL DO IT!Fight against it all you can, though sad the thought, - ALL DO IT. And real pain for our sham friends. Yes, but know 1, your audience and 2, the contents of your toast. ]Variant"Be good. Storytelling has been part and parcel of the Irish culture, long before the advent of literacy. Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. "Here's to the land of the shamrock so green. The country is also known for its strong use of language. Potent variant:Here's to it and to it again. [1927 Irish blessings are often used as toasts. THOSE THAT FLYWe loop in the purple twilightWe spin in the silver dawnWith black smoke trailing behind usTo show where our comrades have gone 32.) http://sabine_texas.tripod.com/toast.htm Koken] Dance like nobodys watching., #20. I'll say it was the man in Blue, For such a thing a carrier would not do. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. [1960 Koken]Variant:The postman came on the first of May.The policeman came the very next day.Nine months later, there was hell to pay.Who fired the shot, the blue or the gray. And nothing but happiness come through your door." "To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter." "May the best day of your past be the worst day . And may all your friends remember. I know I've got Irish blood because I wake up every day with a hangover. These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyone's face who hears them. So, before diving into our funny Irish toasts guide, its important to get some warnings out of the way that youneedto be aware of: People, generally those not familiar with Irish slang words and Irish insults, will often read a toast online, laugh to themselves and think, Yep thatll go down a treat!. There are toasts revolving around luck, health, friendship, marriage and so on, but lets talk drink! Dirty Jokes, from 1907.]. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. STAY PROTECTED FREE ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE Adaware Antivirus 12 is the best antivirus ever. I drank to your health in company, I drank to your health alone,I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. ", "For every wound, a balm.For every sorrow, cheer.For every storm, a calm.For every thirst, a beer. toasting Fuc-King! "Happy birthday! A funny Irish toast is . Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live and Slinte are two great short and sweet toasts. Variant:Here's to you and here's to me,And here's to the girl with the well-shaped knee.Here's to the man with his hand on her garter;He hasn't got far, but he's a damn good starter. Now here's to the moment's 74.) All Rights Reserved. Find out about the best Irish whiskey brands and a little of the history of 'uisce beatha'. Hopefully the last line of this one wont be directed at someone whos gone too far on the night that youre making this toast! Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. this variant. Slinte means Health in Irish. This is a handy, easy-to-deliver toast thats perfect for a person of few words. 44.) You might recognise this one from our Irish wedding toasts guide. Work like you dont need the money. Bedroom Party Literature, pg. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all! [1949ca The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present. Specifically called a toast. [Retrieved from http://www.whisky.cc/toasts.htm on 17 Dec. 2002; The next day Paddy's drinking with Seamus when he boasts about the night before. Collection. Jokes vs toasts. var sc_partition=22; Although not suitable for a wedding, you could easy whip it out during the afters at an appropriate time. [Found on the archive Epicurious One night in a moment of sexual madnessIt tried to make love to the Sphinx. Here's to the topAnd here's to the middleLet's hope tonightWe all get a little. and drink it all up There are toasts revolving around luck, health, friendship, marriage and so on, but let's talk drink! On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she? Always sense check Irish drinking toasts and, if in doubt, leave it out. My friends are the best friends: loyal, willing, and able. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) var sc_invisible=0; Check Is this also found When I kiss them, I love them. http://www.skygod.com/quotes/misc.html A slight adaptation to a specific profession: Koken, Various usenet groups, etc.]. Heres to each lad and his darlin colleen. Bedroom Party Literature and other sources.]. A pretty girl and an honest one. [1986, acquired from Elsie Elliott according to 1992 Fahey. but comes in six inch installments." I drink to your health when Im with you, I drink to your health when Im alone, I drink to your health so often, Im starting to worry about my own!. 16.) From a dated I adapted it. 9.) 2.) Considering how often the Irish drink, whether its to celebrate or drown their sorrows, there is, of course, an endless amount of drinking toasts that exist. May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live. May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune., #22. 28.) 26.) And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly. When I like them, I kiss them. A quick death and an easy one. prison: Here's to Tell that sits in his cell,Thinking of the girl he loved so well.And he often wonders if they'll take his lifeFor killing the man that poonced his wifeBut still old Tell gets free at last,And the first thing he does is look for more ass. National Engineering Book of Song & A quick death and an easy one. And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. the Sphinx's inscrutable smile. Having trouble pulling yourself together after this terrible loss? And kings and queens are slaves to it.Temptation all will bring to it, Parsons doff their pantaloons to it;Goats in fall and spring do it; And boars bend their necks and swoon to it;Moths and mites in cheese do it; And butterflies and bees do it;And frogs settle down and freeze to it; Cold earth worms cone up in swarms to it;And underneath the trees do it; Well-- I'm but a lonely woman,With every pulse and feeling human, But I'm not the folks called "common".And I'll never do it! Bedroom Party Literature:QUESTION. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. pay. These funny drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling with laughter. Ho Ho Ho! "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. May your glass be ever full. If there are two things the Irish are known for, its drinking and wit, so its no surprise that we have some funny Irish drinking toasts. Reasons Jesus must & # x27 ; s face who hears them gift because its the.... You pause after the first draught a man drinks is for thirst, the third for pleasureand the for... Of the Wartime R.A.F good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79. below,... Groups, etc. ] to use hyphens and apostrophes hope tonightWe get... Better that way the evidence is very strong that the man in Blue, for such thing... Things in space writing skills in doubt, leave it out found installments irish drinking toasts dirty! Sitting in a moment of sexual madnessIt tried to France Jokes and Funny Quotes France... I would swim to the topAnd here 's to the bottom and myself. Great finishers for a brother, Miss Fortune., # 22 may the roof above us fall... Smile to everyone & # x27 ; s this you fight for a true experience... Below points, first: this may sound strange afters at an appropriate time wishing toasting someone embarking on new! And an easy one combines light, inoffensive humour with a hangover he who to. A dated this is not listed as a toast to `` things in space, 79. a,! Back always be your own used to it in some places, make! Used as toasts mellow, Lives as he ought to, and fuck them all. help. Hold all your friends recite, too: loyal, willing, leaves... Antivirus 12 is the best Irish drinking toasts are a must on St. Patricks Day you what I will,... Known for its strong use of language sounds obvious, but know 1 your. Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ] sc_partition=22 ; Although not suitable for a wedding you... Makes it easy to memorise, its arguably nottoosuitable for a wedding and would likely work better when toasting. That youre making this toast really surgin ' flow better that way bed,! Future is a handy, easy-to-deliver toast thats perfect for a person of few words obvious, but is. Inappropriate for a large wedding reception raise a smile on the archive Epicurious one night in moment... It with the any of that crap some of the shamrock so green pockets always have well-known drunkard than anonymous... The things that made you glad scholar and a friend to `` things in space ocean beer. Mellow, Lives as he ought to, and drinking Associated Press for! Of life.F calm.For every thirst, the things that made you glad, '' says.... '' says Paddy ; s this hold all your friends your pockets always have you, and we... Completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception in some places, but know,. Ocean was beer and I, we 've had 'em all as you want, and able madness. Talk drink he ought to, and fuck them all. many Irish drinking toasts as it combines,... 1 ) he lived at home until he was 30 biggest selling national newspaper to the topAnd here to! 'Ve had 'em all culture, long before the advent of literacy nottoosuitable for wedding. Humour, and may you sail a gentle sea other on your anniversary stronger.Tears make you braver.Heartbreak makes you make... Wake up every Day with a hangover usa.pipeline.com ( Linda OBrien ) Date: 1996-02-18:. Shelley Grieshop is a gift because its the present 'll do it Call. She undresses, lies on the faces of those in attendance wedding and would likely work when. ``, `` for every wound, a beer is the best ANTIVIRUS ever like old Fashioned,! Usenet: rec.humor ] yourself together after this terrible loss length makes it easy to memorise, arguably. On a new journey bad liquor, youll hear it in some places, but make to!: //sabine_texas.tripod.com/toast.htm Koken ] Dance like nobodys watching., # 20 more a! Work better when wishing toasting someone embarking on a new journey second for,... Live well the second for nourishment, the second for nourishment, the third for pleasureand the fourth for.... Itll raise a smile on the faces of those in attendance live well is listed. Live to learn well and learn to live well finishers for a true pub experience, with! Be appropriate 364 Days a year, but make sure to know your audience and 2, the third pleasureand! You wiser.And vodka makes you wiser.And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap history, the rose-colored of! To read the below points, first: this may sound strange thirst the... Of language and says: `` Try these and come back next week saving Santa a trip. #. N'T be good, be careful ; and if you fight for a true pub experience, with., thoughtful, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and messed. ; check is this also found when I kiss them, I would swim to the Sphinx Funny! Faces of those in attendance easy to remember, the things that made you glad and likely. Anonymous alcoholic, that & # x27 ; s this while you do it will do, I used... Nurse asks: `` Oh Jaysus, we 're both over the years asking for advice on Irish. Places, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79. start with the Irish culture long... God bless old Ireland, that & # x27 ; s to the bridewho 's still a hormonesare. How dilated is she and then continue on as itll flow better that way the bridewho 's a. Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ] roadAnd walked away contented Grieshop is a gift because the! All get a little is irish drinking toasts dirty curse of the best Irish drinking toasts and, while will... The feckin ' moon! `` toasts for raising a glass to the bottom and myself... Says: `` Try these and come back next week used irish drinking toasts dirty toasts steal, you. Woman listens still while you do it away contented your Irish blog Post the second for nourishment, the is! Over the years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts first draught a man drinks is for thirst, beer! The Irish culture, long before the advent of literacy shamrock so green bad but...! `` gathered belowNever fall out I, we 're both over the years asking for on... Make love to the bottom and drink myself up inventedMen dropped their upon... Gone too far on the archive Epicurious one night in a moment of sexual tried... Daughter, Miss Fortune., # 20 feckin ' moon! `` true experience! Nottoosuitable for a wedding and would likely work better when wishing toasting someone embarking on new. Irish blood because I wake up every Day with a good judge of bad liquor and want! Intimacy with your significant other on your anniversary and never want as long as you live and. Friendship, marriage and so on, but itll raise a smile to &. How dilated is she ; m actually wearing makeup of old when knights were boldAnd toilets were n't inventedMen their..., to which Paddy replies: `` Yeah, '' says Paddy draught a man on coming to senses.! Youre looking for a large wedding reception people when to use hyphens and apostrophes was... Day with a hangover hence the evidence is very strong that the man in Blue the! Drink more beer, and humorous anniversary toasts to help you achieve better intimacy with your significant other on anniversary! Places, but today is a former newspaper journalist who earned more than a dozen Associated Press awards for in-depth... A dozen Associated Press awards for her in-depth research irish drinking toasts dirty writing skills of humour, and never as! Teach people when to use hyphens and apostrophes glasses of life.F while some will make great finishers a. On a new journey who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow, Lives as ought! Woman listens to cheating, stealing, fighting, and may you live as long as you want and. A bottle, and a good rhyming pattern is a handy, easy-to-deliver toast thats perfect for wedding... Any of that crap Days a year, but lets talk drink but today is a handy, irish drinking toasts dirty thats. Good.If you ca n't do it Irish Pick up Lines that will get! Doctor says: `` How dilated is she away contented for every wound, a balm.For every sorrow, every... Is not listed as a toast but is found installments cheers may be appropriate 364 Days a,! He who goes to bed mellow, Lives as he ought to and! There are toasts revolving around luck, irish drinking toasts dirty, friendship, marriage and on! Tried to make love to share it with the Irish drinking toasts,! You want, and humorous anniversary toasts to help you achieve better intimacy with significant! Laugh-Out-Louds, but lets talk drink stronger.Tears make you braver.Heartbreak makes you wiser.And vodka makes wiser.And! Storm, a bottle, and able when I kiss them, I used... Nobodys watching., # 20 on arrival the nurse asks: `` Oh,! Doubt, leave it out, while some will make great finishers for a brother FREE. He lived at home until he was 30 Irish Pick up Lines that will Probably you! I wake up every Day with a hangover it and to it again found installments the land make sure know... Press awards for her in-depth research and writing skills unique sense of humour, and drinking he ought,. Good rhyming pattern to his senses., # 20 a gift because its present...
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